And another one I’ve experienced, as a woman, is to comment on my appearance as a way of discrediting me as if how I look has any reflection on what I say.
Thank you for seeing this out so clearly. I've learned only to engage, if:
• I have some understanding of the topic
• it's something that I think is important
• I'm not tired, hungry, or stressed.
I follow the following strategy:
1. I always start off assuming the other person is keen to widen their understanding, and acting in good faith.
2. I always provide a link to a robust source to support any assertion I make.
3. As soon as I realise that bad faith is involved, I gently suggest that I've evidence all of my assertions, and the haven't for any of theirs (or point out flaws in their evidence).
4. If they persist, I just say 'We'll have to agree to disagree.' and leave it at that.
As you point out, this is a stage. I do the above for the benefit of any agnostic readers, to let them see why the other party was not correct—i.e. a 'teachable moment'.
How long I continue with 2. above depends entirely on how much energy & time I have available!
And another one I’ve experienced, as a woman, is to comment on my appearance as a way of discrediting me as if how I look has any reflection on what I say.
Thank you for seeing this out so clearly. I've learned only to engage, if:
• I have some understanding of the topic
• it's something that I think is important
• I'm not tired, hungry, or stressed.
I follow the following strategy:
1. I always start off assuming the other person is keen to widen their understanding, and acting in good faith.
2. I always provide a link to a robust source to support any assertion I make.
3. As soon as I realise that bad faith is involved, I gently suggest that I've evidence all of my assertions, and the haven't for any of theirs (or point out flaws in their evidence).
4. If they persist, I just say 'We'll have to agree to disagree.' and leave it at that.
As you point out, this is a stage. I do the above for the benefit of any agnostic readers, to let them see why the other party was not correct—i.e. a 'teachable moment'.
How long I continue with 2. above depends entirely on how much energy & time I have available!
Good points, especially (1) - easy to get this wrong when tired/frustrated (have made this mistake in the past)
Thank you, Adam.
Adam, I somehow missed this relevant and important post! Thank you; I see this as important as in life these days too.